India takes pride in its traditions, culture, and values, even though they might need a little revamping to stay relevant in the 21st century. We have always kept our women hidden and “protected” from the evils of the outside world by introducing them to their husbands on the day of their marriages and by not informing them what they mean by the consummation of the marriage and what they should be expecting. Kept in the dark their whole life, they do not get to explore and understand the concept of intimacy, leaving them to the mercy of strangers-turned-husbands.
The banning of sex, or any knowledge of sex, before marriage, is a highly patriarchal and misogynistic concept, deteriorating women to properties subjugated by men. Women’s purity is a virtue that is to be protected to all ends, only for it to be handed over to a stranger on a random day. These negative connotations regarding sex add an edge to the conversations surrounding intimacy, making people shy away from the topic. This silence breeds misinformation, shame, and stigma. It also leaves young people vulnerable to unhealthy relationships, sexual anxiety, and poor understanding of consent and boundaries.
However, talking about intimacy can be greatly beneficial for women, as well as for relationships. If women know what to expect and how to distinguish between right and wrong, they will not feel exploited and vulnerable when the time comes.
When it comes to relationships where two people are mutually attracted to each other, the conversation about intimacy can be tough to bring up. This is again because of the societal norms in the country, which now allow open conversations about intimacy, keeping it hidden behind the four walls of a bedroom. But as the modern dating culture evolves in India, dating before marriage is becoming a common phenomenon. The foundering of these relationships is based on effective communication, including communication about intimacy.
It is vital that both partners feel comfortable enough around each other to talk about intimacy and what works best for them. It can be a tough subject but one should be aware of their and their partner’s boundaries to ensure a long and healthy relationship. When aware of what you like and dislike, it gives you more pleasure and satisfaction.
India’s paradox is glaring. We are the land that gave the world the Kamasutra and the intricate, sensual carvings of Khajuraho and Konark. Ancient Indian culture once celebrated sexuality as a natural, even spiritual, part of life. Yet today, even mentioning the word “sex” in many Indian households is enough to make people squirm.
Indian media, ironically, thrives on sexual innuendo and objectification — from item numbers to oversexualized advertisements. But try airing an honest, non-sensational conversation about sexual health or intimacy on prime-time television, and the backlash is swift. The message is clear: sex can sell but not be discussed. This duality further deepens the taboo, making sex simultaneously visible and invisible.
India needs a sexual revolution — not one based on titillation but on truth, education, empathy, and respect. Schools need proper sex education. Parents must be encouraged to talk to their children openly. And the media should take responsibility for portraying intimacy in a healthy, nuanced way.
Let us know your thoughts on intimacy in India in the comment section below. If you have any burning opinions or ideas to share, feel free to contact us at larra@globalindiannetwork.com.
