Gambling Addiction, the Cost of Shame & Silence, & Recovery | Harj Gahley

In this episode of Against All Odds, we confront a truth many families live with, but few are willing to name: gambling addiction is one of the most invisible, destructive, and misunderstood crises of our time, especially within South Asian communities. Often hidden behind professional success, social respectability, and cultural expectations, it thrives in silence, shame, and denial.

The conversation featuring Harj Gahley peels back the layers of what gambling addiction really looks like beyond stereotypes. Unlike alcohol or substance abuse, gambling leaves no visible trail. There are no slurred words or physical signs, only financial chaos, secrecy, compulsive lying, and a growing emotional distance from loved ones. What may begin as casual social betting or “harmless fun” can quietly spiral into a life-consuming obsession, blurring the line between chance and control, entertainment and escape.

This episode explores how gambling hijacks the mind by offering validation, false hope, and a temporary escape from deeper emotional pain. Money becomes more than currency; it becomes self-worth, identity, and proof of success. Within cultures that place enormous emphasis on honour (izzat), reputation, and external markers of achievement, the pressure to appear “fine” often outweighs the need to ask for help. As a result, addiction is not addressed as a health issue but buried as a moral failure.

A powerful theme running through the discussion is how systems meant to support people often fail those from ethnic minority backgrounds. Mainstream addiction services, while well-intentioned, can overlook cultural nuance, family dynamics, faith, and identity. When people do not feel seen, heard, or understood, they disengage, often returning to the very behaviours that are harming them. The absence of representation and culturally competent care deepens isolation at the very moment vulnerability demands connection.

The episode also shines a light on the ripple effects of addiction, the “affected others.” Partners, parents, siblings, and children often carry the emotional, financial, and psychological burden in silence. They are frequently the first to notice something is wrong and the last to receive support. The conversation challenges families to move away from denial and blame, and towards honest, compassionate dialogue rooted in accountability and care.

Importantly, this is not just a story about crisis; it is a conversation about recovery, responsibility, and rebuilding. Practical steps are discussed to help interrupt gambling behaviours, including financial safeguards, self-exclusion tools, and the importance of handing over control when self-control is compromised. But the deeper message is clear: addiction is rarely the root problem. It is a symptom. Healing begins by addressing the pain, trauma, unmet emotional needs, and identity struggles beneath the surface.

At its core, this episode asks difficult but necessary questions. Who are we living for? Whose expectations are shaping our choices? And what happens when validation, love, and belonging are sought in places that ultimately harm us? By challenging cultural silence and reframing addiction as a human issue, not a moral one, the conversation offers hope to those who feel trapped, unseen, or beyond help.

If this episode resonates with you, or reminds you of someone you love, don’t let it end here. Start the conversation. Share this episode. Reach out for support. Healing begins the moment silence is broken. 

*Disclaimer: The perspectives expressed by the guest are their own and do not necessarily reflect those of our platform. This discussion is intended solely for knowledge-sharing and should not be interpreted as endorsement.

Produced by Global Indian Series for the Global Indian Network.

Script by Rajan Nazran
original idea: Rajan Nazran

Introduction music: (https://freesound.org/people/SilverIllusionist)