Much of public discourse in the modern age is in some way or form shaped by the internet. Meme culture has, for the past few decades, been a satirical way through which many of us engage in dialogue over a wide range of societal issues. One such issue at the forefront of many conversations has been misandry and The Gender War.
For the unaware, The Gender War is a term used to describe the antagonisation of the opposite gender or sex, particularly in cis-gender spaces. Misogynist and man-hater (misandrist) have become common titles attributed to various voices in the conversation, with some wearing theirs proudly. In this article, we will look at various aspects of the clashes between men and women, the rhetoric involved, and why the reciprocation of hate on the aggressor, in this case men, does little to actually solve the core problems.
Fifth-Wave Feminism and the Co-opting of Misandry
Over the course of time, with the establishment of the patriarchy and integration of misogyny into cultures and everyday life. Feminism has emerged as a movement to counteract the integrated and pervasive evils against women that have come to be accepted as societal norms. Academicians have broken down the feminist movement into four/five waves starting in the late 19th Century, where feminism focused on legal issues such as voting rights. It should be noted that the wave model is primarily Western-centric and does not acknowledge global feminist movements, particularly in the early parts.
By 2015, almost 200 years later, feminism had made considerable ground. For most of us, a world where women were legally not allowed in the voting booth seems so far removed from our own. However, in spite of the many gains that have been made, misogynistic tendencies, especially in the mental frameworks and world views of societies and individuals, still persist with the fifth wave of feminism, which has mainly been characterised by online activism with a focus on the implicit, such as online abuse, systemic discrimination, and intersectionality.
Enter, the man-hater. Since the fifth-wave feminism’s arena of discourse has been online platforms, this has meant that many voices from around the world have been able to contribute to the discussion. However, this has also meant that the loudest and most heard voices haven’t been the most qualified, but the most viral ones, and virality is rarely a measure of quality. This has led to exposing the movement to grifters and social media companies hijacking the movement.
As a result, there has been an overemphasis on pushing back against the male gender as opposed to the patriarchy and misogyny, the system. This pushback has led to the feeling of antagonisation by many men, further damaging the conversation in the mainstream.
Misandry as a Reaction to Misogyny
In the previous section, we implied that some of the voices perpetuating misandrist rhetoric are mainly grifters. While this thought holds water, it should be noted that the reason this rhetoric gains traction in female spaces is because it resonates with many women, and the reason this messaging resonates with many women is because most, if not all, women have been victims of the patriarchy on a mental and physical level. According to the NSRVC, 81% of women report experiencing sexual harassment, while other surveys report that one in five women experiences sexual violence. As one speaker put it, “Men are scared women will laugh at them, women are scared men will kill them.”.
For many women, feminism is a movement of liberation, and movements of liberation usually involve direct confrontation with the aggressors. Misogyny is not an abstract system that consists of casual name-calling; it is an attack on the personhood of a woman. As a result, the indiscriminatory hatred that women may feel towards men is arguably justified. For most women, man-hating and misandry are reactions, and though some may have hijacked this emotion and turned it into a narrative for personal gain, it is highly imperative to remind ourselves of the reason this reaction exists.
Misandry Will Not Solve Misogyny
While the reactionary rhetoric and general resentment felt by women towards men are not only understandable but also justifiable, it should be remembered that it does not in any way, shape, or form solve misogyny. While victims and aggressors of misogyny can be demarcated along gender lines, the solution is not to antagonise one side. The solution is tackling the structures and norms that hold the framework in place. We do not end misogyny by hating men but by turning them into feminists.
Antagonisation alienates, and in some movements of liberation, this may work, but as men and women must co-exist, ending misogyny demands active participation from men. This is not to say that men who perpetuate misogynist behaviour should not be called out and/or punished. It is to say that the way forward involves bringing everyone aboard.
Conclusion
This article touches on several key aspects of the dynamics between the two mostly socially accepted genders. However, broader yet important areas such as intersectionality, which cannot be removed from the conversation, have not been explored at the required depth, as that would require a separate article. This is to say that feminism is a complex issue, and fully grasping it, especially by men and women who may be of overprivileged backgrounds that insulate them from matters such as intersectionality, requires them to actively seek to educate themselves on important issues. Our perception of conversations that affect middle-class office working women in San Francisco and farm workers in Kenya can not be dominated by 60-second short-form content.
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