Drugs, Addiction

Addict – A Personal Journey of Regret and Recovery

3 mins read

Addiction to anything is a complex and destructive condition that affects people. Among the most dangerous and potent substances is heroin, a highly addictive opiate that can quickly turn its users into despair. In this article, I aim to shed light on the distressing experience I felt when I was a victim of heroin addiction for over four months. By sharing this story, I hope to raise awareness about the consequences of heroin addiction while emphasizing the importance of personal determination in overcoming this devastation.

My Story

I was just a high school senior, filled with curiosity and a misguided desire for a different world for experiencing new things, when I found myself stuck in the hold of drug addiction. It all started on Teachers' Day when one of my close friends brought heroin along. As they never did anything without me, I was angry with them and watched their transformation. I became consumed by a longing to experience that alternate reality. The next day, my friend arrived with the drug once again. Unaware of the method of ingestion, I took a step back when he introduced a "gun" – an injection commonly used to inject heroin.

Filled with enthusiasm, I watched my friend prepare the drug by mixing the heroin powder with water. And as it was my first time he gave the shot to me first. As the bitter-sweet taste hit my tongue, I felt an immediate surge of energy and an overwhelming sense of new life, which, in a sense, can be as profound as euphoria. The initial stage was unlike anything I had ever experienced, but as time passed, the true colours of addiction began to take over.

Hallucinations gripped me as I sat in the library, observing the walls and benches seemingly come alive and circle me. I was then taken back to the classroom, but the entire day I spent was of intoxication and highness. Vomiting once and a constant sense of dizziness plunged me; amid that, I told myself that it would be my first and last time. However, the following day, I found myself once again taking the shot of heroin and thus began my journey into addiction.

This addiction took hold of my life with an iron grip, affecting the bonds with my schoolmates and family. The irresistible attraction of that toxic world made it impossible to break free from its grasp. What started as a seemingly harmless experiment soon took a high peak into a daily struggle to acquire enough money to buy the product. We would somehow manage together 200 rupees, pleading with friends and colleagues, even sacrificing my lunch money to satisfy the craving.

My addiction gradually escalated, and I took three shots a day. The morning dose would provide a temporary burst of energy, but by evening, the high I feel gets over, leaving me exhausted and dull. Sleep was slipping away from me at night. Only through another shot would it give me a peaceful sleep, and even then, I would lie awake, calling God's name to provide me with an hour of sleep.

During the four months of my heroin addiction, I found myself drifting from my schoolmates and my family. The all-consuming thoughts of obtaining cash for my next dose left me with no room for studies or productive work. It became clear that I had reached rock bottom when my mother discovered the gun kept in my pocket, resulting in devastation at home.

A Glimpse of Hope

Despite the despair that clouded my existence, I consider myself fortunate to have received my mother's and my family's support and guidance. Their love, along with my determination, became the mixture of my path to recovery. It is also essential to say that the desire to quit must originate from within oneself. No amount of external intervention, support, or guidance can truly take hold if the will to change is absent from oneself.

The road to recovery has not been easy so far. Overcoming the physical and psychological withdrawal symptoms, I had to endure it with all my strength for almost a week. However, with the unwavering support of my loved ones and my determination, I managed to break free from the shackles of addiction. Each passing day without heroin has become a new life journey for me. After all these situations, I was made to think more clearly about life's aim and progress and that all this is just a stepping stone I had to clear.

The experience of heroin addiction is a haunting journey filled with regret and suffering for me. I have shared the consequences of surrendering to this drug through my personal story. Heroin addiction knows no boundaries and can impact individuals from all aspects of life. The most significant lesson I learned from my journey is that actual change can only come from within. The will to quit must strongly be tended to until it becomes a determination to take back one's life again.

I always remember what my father said when I recovered: "Do everything in life, as life is only to live once, but you have to know what is good and bad about what you are doing. So that life does not get derailed."

"In everyone's life, sometimes some darkness takes over. It doesn't mean the end of our life. We must always take a step to find the light in that darkness. Just like when lights go off, we tend to search for light in that dark. Once found, light will help to guide the path."

Akihito Chakma

Akihito Chakma

Akihito is a postgraduate student at Central University of Rajasthan, having completed his graduation from ICFAI University of Tripura. His passions lie in writing and art, making him a dedicated writer and artist.

1 Comment

  1. This is an amazing story of how recovery is possible when the desire to change becomes more then the desire to continue using drugs.

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